Grief is one of the most difficult challenges a family can face. Whether the loss is sudden or expected, it affects not just individuals but entire systems—especially parents and their children. When a child is grieving, they look to caregivers for stability, reassurance, and understanding. At the same time, many parents are grieving too, trying to hold themselves together while supporting their families. Supporting grieving children while coping with your own loss can be incredibly hard.
In this post, we share guidance from clinical psychologist Dr. Liz Ross on how to support both your child and yourself through the grief process.
How Children Show They Are Grieving
Grief in children doesn’t always look like sadness. It can show up in behavior, play, physical symptoms, or seemingly “odd” questions about death. Sometimes kids may seem flippant or unemotional which is normal too. Here are some common ways grief may surface:
– Behavioral signs: Regression, clinginess, acting out, changes in routine
– Emotional signs: Irritability, anxiety, anger, sadness, fear
– Physical signs: Headaches, stomachaches, changes in appetite or sleep
– Cognitive signs: Magical thinking (“Did I cause this?”), preoccupation with the deceased,
repeated questions about death
– Creative expression: Drawing, storytelling, or pretend play about loss
Supporting Grieving Children: What Helps
Supporting grieving children doesn’t require perfection—just presence, honesty, and patience.
Here are some key strategies:
– Create a safe space
– Be honest and clear
– Tailor support to their age (through play, art, creativity, or conversation)
– Maintain routine
– Support peer connection
– Give time and patience
Red Flags to Watch For
While many grief reactions are normal, some may indicate that a child needs professional support.
Watch for:
– Persistent withdrawal or sadness
– Aggression or prolonged irritability
– Difficulty functioning in school or daily life
– Statements of hopelessness or self-harm
Supporting Yourself Through Grief as a Parent
It’s hard to support someone else when you’re also in pain. Parents often push their grief aside to stay strong for their children, but it’s important to care for yourself too.
Be sure to:
– Acknowledge your feelings
– Be honest with your children
– It’s okay to take a break from your children if you need to
– It’s okay to let your children see you cry but don’t treat them like your personal therapist
– Accept help
– Lean on your support system
– Find meaning in the loss through spirituality or whatever belief system may be
When to Seek Support
At the Coping Resource Center, we provide grief and trauma-informed care for both children and adults. Whether you’re a parent navigating your own loss, a caregiver supporting a grieving child, or both, we’re here to help.
We offer:
– Individual therapy for children, teens, and adults
– Parent support sessions
– Trauma-focused interventions
– Telehealth across 42 states through PSYPACT
Learn more or request an appointment here.
Recommended Resources
For children:
– When Someone Very Special Dies by Marge Heegaard
– When Dinosaurs Die by Laurie Krasny Brown & Marc Brown
For adults:
– The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James & Russell Friedman
– Has Your Child Been Traumatized? by Melissa Goldberg Mintz
Local support in Houston:
– The Lucine Center through The Hackett Center for Mental Health
Grief is painful. You may never feel like you “get over” the loss. However, gaining support when you are grieving can certainly lead to deeper connection, compassion, and resilience. You don’t have to go through it alone. If your family is navigating a recent loss, we’re here to walk alongside you.
